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Well times they are a changin'.
/see__love__kill New journal kiddos. Add it, add it, ADD IT!
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I loved this weekend so much. Yesterday, I went over Steph's and we beat Silent Hill. The ending we got (there are four possible endings) was so sad I almost started to cry. Now I want to play 2 and 3. Obsession, obsession...
So she came back to my house to sleep over, and after TJ got off of work at 1:30 in the AM he came and "kidnapped" us and we drove around till about 4. We stopped at Dunkin Donuts at 3 to eat breakfast. Heh. We also stalked some of his ex girlfriends. I enjoyed it very much. Sara, you should have came, you loser. =P
I want to play Silent Hill again. Right now.
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Saturday, April 12th, 2003
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All right, so all in all this week was pretty amazing. Let's recap.
Wednesday - Hung out with Stephanie and played SILENT HILL. Heh. We got amazingly far. I have the hots for the girl cop and the nurse in that game. Oh yeah.
Thursday - Indescribably wonderful. Steph came over my house and after eating way too much TJ came and picked us up and drove us to Sara's. Since we had to get Mike's birthday present, we all drove to the mall blasting music. After the mall, we stopped at my house, I got my *NSYNC CD and Steph got her stuff so we could drop her off. Then we picked up Kyle Gardner (my apologies if that is spelt wrong) and drove to Pt. Pleasant so TJ could roll into the gas station where Matt Geroni works blasting *NSYNC. Alas, he wasn't working. So we drove around some more, and then went home where I got sick from all the food I ate.
Friday - WOAHHH. Ok, so much happened. Since I am lazy, I am just going to copy and paste from Mike's journal. :D
( cha ching )
Steph is baby-sitting till 5:30 and then hopefully we will hang out.
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MADExxMAN: i will cut your cunt veins and pee in them
MADExxMAN: :slice:
MADExxMAN: :big awkward smile:
An uneasy peace: oh my god.
An uneasy peace: that was the most disgusting thing i have ever heard in my life.
Saturday night turned out to be amazing. Steph came over around 4, we went to Blockbuster, and then Ed and his friend Johnny came over. Johnny is extremely cool. Steph wants him. They stayed till like 11. We all went up to my room and laid around with my lava lamp on and watching t.v. Well.. maybe not me and Ed. Hah. Steph and I stayed up till like 5:30 in the AM so we woke up today at 12.
We took pictures, which came out like this..
After she left, I took some hair styling stuff I have and attempted to style my hair. I ended up looking like a lonely orphan, but I guess it came out all right.
P.S. - I am in love with the song "Your Bruise" by Death Cab For Cutie. I suggest you all find a way to hear it. Like, now.
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Today was an amazing day. Ed and Pat picked up me, Sara and Alyssa. We just hung out and ate pretzels and drank Sprite. Ed is really awesome and Pat is hilarious.
At around 7 or something, Ed and Pat dropped us off at the Plaza and we walked around for a bit. Sara and I hung out with TJ once he went on break from working and Alyssa went back to her house. I loved today, very much. I was supposed to hang out with Alison, and I gave her Sara's number, but we weren't home. =\ I'm an idiot. I'm sorry, Alison.
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Thursday, March 20th, 2003
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"And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape"
You know, if I could sleep forever, I would. I would sleep away all my problems and worries.
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Thursday, March 6th, 2003
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This is kind of directed at certain friends. Hopefully they will know who they are once they read it..
I'm really kind of upset that friendships are being ruined lately. In the summer, we were all so close we could pull through anything. We didn't fight about it, we talked about it. What happened? Why are we running from the problem instead of settling it? Say how you feel, don't just talk shit about them behind their back. That won't change a thing. Don't yell at them either. Just talk to them. Is that so hard? I miss how we all used to be so close. Don't push our one friend away because she did something wrong. Do you know how bad it must hurt to have your closest friends turn against you? Don't get mad at me for saying this. I'm just tired of all this fighting.
"I feel so lonely all the time. You won't break me with this place cause we are all the same. It all comes around after all is said and done, these days discover less hope than before. Will I become something more?"
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Friday, February 28th, 2003
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Yeah, so the show last night was good. I was only in the pit for Wakefield and some of The All-American Rejects. I hung out with Sara and TJ under the stairs for Riddlin' Kids, and then for Homegrown while Sara and TJ were cuddling in the pit, Steph, me, Alyssa and Mike sat on the couch away from everyone and talked. It was good for all of us to get everything out.
Steph is over tonight, and we rented movies. She's sleeping over. We just got done watching Fear Dot Com and now we're about to watch American Beauty and then Igby Goes Down.
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Thursday, February 27th, 2003
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Tonight is the show! Wakefield, The All-American Rejects, Homegrown and Riddlin' Kids at Birch Hill. I'm going with Sara, Alyssa, Mike, Steph and TJ. I can't wait.
I came to the conclusion that Health class is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Just ask Heather or Dave... they could back me up on that statement.
Johnny IMed me before. I miss him so much. He's such a sweet heart. Hit up his journal, just because he's an amazing human being. Here.
emo glasses JMS: hello beautiful girl
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: hello gorgeous boy.
emo glasses JMS: i have missed you so much
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: i've missed you a lot too.
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: where have you been, man?
emo glasses JMS: here lol
emo glasses JMS: just not online
emo glasses JMS: the computer has been weird lately
emo glasses JMS: ive been wanting to call you since forever but ive been hanging out with kate a lot
emo glasses JMS: and now things with me and her are kindof over so..
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: :-\
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: i'm sorry.
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: anything new and exciting happen in the life of johnny?
emo glasses JMS: besides kate? nothing lol
emo glasses JMS: im johnny nothing ever happens
emo glasses JMS: how about in the life of sammie??/
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: just bad stuff, but i can tell you that story on the phone.
emo glasses JMS: yea im definatly calling
emo glasses JMS: i was really wraped up in kate
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: i can understand why.
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: i was happy for you.
emo glasses JMS: i didnt expect it to last long
emo glasses JMS: i gtg but ill call you tonite okay?
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: not tonight, i'm going to a show.
emo glasses JMS: okay tomorrow
emo glasses JMS: maybe we can hang out like old times
emo glasses JMS: me, you and skeet and maybe sara too if she wants to come along
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: definatly.
emo glasses JMS: looking forward to it :)
emo glasses JMS: good bye beautiful girl
R.I.P. MR. ROGERS
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Monday, February 24th, 2003
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I hate school, and you have no idea how much I'm dreading going today. I'm about to have a mental breakdown.
So.. yesterday. I was up all night again, so at 10, or 9, I called Donald, and I went over his house. We hung out till like 2, then his friend Shaun (or Sean?) came. We got in his car, took a bathroom break in the church, visited their friend Paris at work, dropped Donald off at work, then dropped me off. I got home around 3 something, and I was so tired. I just collapsed. People were calling me on and off, but half the phone calls I got I don't remember. Except for the one about Sara..
So I finally got fully awake at 11 pm. Took a shower, did homework, watched Fight Club, then listened to music. I'm going to be very dead in school. On top of that, I have so much make up work. At least we all got a little vacation with all those snow days. But, we are going to have to make it up in June.. that means less time for summer. ::bangs head repeatedly against wall::
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Sunday, February 23rd, 2003
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So last night (Saturday), Mike and I attempted to go see a movie, but it was sold out. So we went to Applebee's, then Barnes and Noble, then the Wiz. We were running around with sex books in Barnes and Noble and some guy said we shouldn't be looking at those, hahah. Very, very graphic. Mike and I walked out of there traumatized. Well, at least I did.
I'm still on the phone with Mike, Heather, Jess and Alyssa. Ok, Mike just got off. Now it's just me, Heather and Jess. So anyway.. looks like I'm staying up all night again. How grand. =\
I seeeee youuuuu.
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Tuesday, February 18th, 2003
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Everyting just keeps geting worse. I'm trying to make it all better, trying to please everyone and at the same time please myself. In the end I just feel fucking torn apart and messed up. I'm really sorry to everyone. I really don't know what to do anymore.
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Sunday, February 16th, 2003
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ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: ::slaps::
MADExxMAN: why.
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: it was a love slap.
MADExxMAN: oh ok
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: ;-)
MADExxMAN: :beats the shit out of you:
MADExxMAN: :-*
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: oh thats a lot of lovin!
MADExxMAN: don't you forget it!
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: oh yeah.
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: love is.. is what i got. i said remember that.
MADExxMAN: lol
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Tuesday, February 11th, 2003
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I'm never making another prank phone call again. They lead to trouble that makes my stomach do a 360.
This song explains exactly how I've been feeling.
Say The Word
--Runaway Orange
Something's missing from this potrait
It must be the noose around your neck
But don't worry I brought an extra one
Just in case we pass a nice tree
Why have my feelings been overlooked?
Don't I matter too?
I think I'll share some of this
Pain with you so..
Have you ever been left out?
Have you had your heart ripped out?
How far do I have to go for you to see that I care?
I'll shove my heart down your throat
Will you feel my love then?
Swallow it down, to burn through your soul.
Say the word and, choke on every letter
Say the word and, choke on every letter
For all the times I've been there
And all the times I've tried
Why can't I see through you?
Why can't I stare into your eyes?
Why can't I see through you?
Why can't I stare into your eyes?
Why can't I see through you?
Why can't I stare into your eyes?
Why can't I slip and cut my throat?
And if I could what would you say?
When you think about me I want you to cry
Feel lonely and afraid
I waited for your eyes through the window last night
Your reassuring gaze could of held me through the night
There's so many things I could hold against you
But I'm not that type of guy
Why do you make it so damn hard?
My limbs are growing cold
And what's left now has always been here
A heart filled with love and eyes filled with tears
Say the word and, choke on every letter
Say the word and, choke on every letter
For all the times I've been there
And all the times that I've cried
Why can't I see through you?
Why can't I stare into your eyes?
Why can't I see through you?
Why can't I stare into your eyes?
Why can't I see through you?
Why can't I stare into your eyes?
I try so hard but I can't get enough
Of something I know so well
Something I know from your touch
But maybe some day will come, yeah
When I can get enough
Maybe some day will come and I'll
Choke on every letter.
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Wednesday, February 5th, 2003
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Well, I'm still sick. TJ made me stay awake with him till 3:30 until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. Mason got offline around 3 I guess. Or maybe 2, I don't remember.
Sourgirl125: i love late nigt on line
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: lol.
Sourgirl125: only the best are on
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: like late night t.v.
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: only better.
Sourgirl125: exactly
Rose Sara tints my world. That was a Rocky Horror moment, don't mind it. =D This is just too great.
MADExxMAN: jane touched me :)
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: rofl!
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: how did she touch you? ;-)
MADExxMAN: kendra is on the other side of me and she was passing her a marker and she touched my knuckle
MADExxMAN: i almost flew out my chair to alaska
ANGRYxNERDxxROCK: never wash your hand again!
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Sunday, February 2nd, 2003
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| Subject: | Wee |
| Time: | 3:34 pm. |
| Mood: |  nerdy. | | Music: | "Shoulder To The Wheel" - Saves The Day. |
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I'm happy for no reason at all. =)
By the way, my hair is purple now.
Happy Birthday, Jess.
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Wednesday, January 22nd, 2003
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| Subject: | Shush |
| Time: | 7:18 pm. |
| Mood: |  sick. | | Music: | "Dear Sergio" - Catch 22. |
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I got a digital camera. =-O
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Sunday, January 5th, 2003
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What a skeletal wreck of MAN this is
Translucent flesh and feeble bones
The kind of temple where the whores and villians
try to tempt the HOLISTIC DOMES
Running rampant with free thought to free form
in the free and clear
WHERE the matters at hand are shelled out like lint at a laundromat
to sift and focus on the bigger, better, now
We all have a little sin than needs venting
virtues for the rending
and laws and systems
and stems ARIFF from branches of office
do you know what your post entails?
Do you serve a purpose?
or purposely serve?
Wind down inside of your outer-vistical GALORE
the value of a Summer spent
and a Winter earned
For the rest of us there is always Sunday.
the day of the week that reeks of rest
but all we do is catch out breaths
so we can wade naked into the bloody pool
and place our hand on the big black book.
To watch the knives zig-zag between our aching fingers.
A vacation is a count-down
T minus your life and counting
time to drag your tongue across the sugar-cube
and hope you get a taste
what the FUCK is all this for?! (What the hells goin' on?!)
SHUT UP!!
I could go on and on, but, lets move on shall we?
Say, your me and im you
and they all watch the things we do
and like a smack of spite
they threw me down the stairs
haven't felt like this in years
the great magnet of malicious magnanamous refuse
let me go and
PUNCH me into the dead spot again.
Thats where you go when theres no-one else around
its just you
and there was never anyone to begin with now was there?
Sanctomonious pretentious dasterdly bastards
with their thumb on the pulse
and a finger on the trigger
CLASSIFIED MY ASS! thats a FUCKING secret and you know it!
Government is another way to say
Better
Than
You.
Its like ice but no pick
a murder charge that wont stick
its like a whole other world
where you can smell the food
but you cant touch the silverware
hah, what luck
fascism you can vote for
isn't that sweet
and we're all gonna die some day
because thats the American way
and ive drunk too much
and said too little
when your gaffer taped in the middle
say a prayer, save A face
get yourself together and (see whats happening)
SHUT UP! (FUCK YOU!)
FUCK YOU!
Im sorry i could go on and on but
its time to move on so
Remember your a wreck, an accident
forget the freak, your just nature
Keep the gun oiled and the temple clean
shit, snort and BLASTPHEME
Let the heads cool and the engine run
Because in the end,
everything we do
is just everything we've done.
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Friday, January 3rd, 2003
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Sorry for not updating. I'm at Mike's right now. I went home on his bus. Kids in our Italian class think we're going out. Apssh.
I taught him a new beat on the drums and an easy fill to practice. He's really good. ::proud of Mike::
Mike can't go out tonight, so Alyssa and Sara might come over. His mom won't be home to 11. House party, woo! Party with two people. Maybe four. =-O
All right, I'm going to go.
Random line from Jess while she's playing a video game.. "Oh my God, I just stole money from a dead man." Crazy little bugger...
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artistic.
chipper.
crazy.
calm.
disappointed.
frustrated.
stressed.
drunk.
bored.
drained.
productive.